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what colours have you seen today?
Entries for June, 2006
June 8, 2006
Points of View
Posted at 07:33 AM
I recieved this through an e-mail and it made a bit of an impression on me :
Point Of View
Imagine you're in London's Heathrow Airport. While you're waiting for your
flight, you notice a kiosk selling cookies. You buy a box, put them in
your traveling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so
you can sit down and enjoy your cookies.
Finally you find a seat next to a gentleman. You reach down into your
traveling bag and pull out your box of cookies.
As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely.
He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up
the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and takes
one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You're more than a little
surprised at this. Actually, you're at a loss for words. Not only does he
take one cookie, but also alternates with you. For every one cookie you
take, he takes one.
Now, what's your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He's got
some nerve! Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man
to your associates back at the office?
Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there's just one
left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he
does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you.
After he's finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he
leaves.
You think to yourself, "Do this really happen?" You're left sitting there
dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another
box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening your new
box of cookies when you glance down into your traveling bag. Sitting there
in your bag is your original box of cookies -- still unopened.
Only then do you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had
reached into the other man's bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by
mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant? You've just
experienced a profound paradigm shift. You're seeing things from a new
point of view.
Is it time to change your point of view?
Now, think of this story as it relates to your life. Things may not be
what they seem.
Dont pay too much attention to what you're already seeing...pay it to what you're missing.
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June 11, 2006
Learning to Let Go
Posted at 10:19 AM
It has been quite a while since i updated this blog of mine. It is not that I had the time nor that i did not have anything important to write about. I just felt that the past few days were uhm, memorable in a sense that without a doubt, I would remember the highlights no matter what.
Honestly, I have had so many ups and downs recently that I just got used to it. Ewan. Ang dami kong bagay na hindi na pinatulan kasi parang i felt that it was not worth it. Tapos there were things that i experienced na talagang gusto kong gumalaw, gusto kong baguhin pero wala talaga akong magawa. I have never felt so free and powerless at the same time. Not only is it frustrating, it bugs the hell out of me. And the free time that i have these past few days aren't helping either.
Moving on, I finally got enrolled! - Without even lining up for reg or the cashier! One of the many perks of being part of Regcom. Althought I had a tough time fighting over this sched, i got what i initially wanted:
MWF
Ph 101 Section AA 9:30-10:30
Hi 165 Section F 11:30-12:30
Eco 112 Section B 1:30-2:30
TTh
Mkt 101 Section G 9:00-10:30
POM 104 Section D 11:00-1:30
Th 131 Section T 3:00-4:30
Not bad.. haha ako mismo ang namili niyan. medyo ok naman daw ang teachers pero kahit naman anong teacher yan, mahirap pa rin. I honestly dont think na merong easy A - not unless your teacher passes Yale and wants to spread the happiness all around (*ahem*lit 14 *ahem*) Good luck to everyone.
Buti na lang may break ako today. Super tiring ng Regcom pero I love it! Ewan. Parang ang saya na nakakapagod. Next na gagawin namin is to distribute regforms to freshmen. Parang kelan lang freshman ako! wahaha tapos ngaun... 
'Til next time! Adios!
Nga pala, second to the last episode ng charmed ngaun and i am watching the replay of Star World today (sunday)! I can't believe that this series is about to end. I just feel so... so... old.
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June 12, 2006
Bring it On.
Posted at 07:27 PM
I was checking the calendar kanina and realized that we are half-way of the year 2006. Actually, alam kong June na and that classes would soon begin but i failed to realize na six months na lang, a new year would again begin. Ewan, I just started to feel that although it has been a rollercoaster of a ride, this year was fairly uneventful - not that there weren't enough events, its just that there were no major, defining moments just like 2004 and 2005. Wala lang, it may be because there really are not defining moments or just that i want to forget them if ever the exist but I do believe that 2006 has yet to leave its mark.
If you have been reading this journal since the start of the year, you would have known that i had a crappy new year. Needless to say, I had to do a lot just to recover - to pick myself up. Ewan. Parang I feel that to a certain degree, I did not deserve what happened to me ( no one does). Quite honestly, it shook me. And with no one to fully depend on, it just made it more difficult for me.
I actually dont want to narrate everything that happened in the past six months (that is what the old entries are for). I just want to remember some few things that I seem to feel are lessons that I have learned.
1. Sometimes we grow old. Sometimes we grow up. Sometimes we grow out of each other. Its just a combination of one, both or all of these.
2. No one would give alms to a fat beggar.
3. Sometimes, its just you and no one else.
4. You can't have everything.
5. You can't change everyone.
6. You can't trust everyone and sometimes, anyone.
7. Learn not to let go too soon and not to hold on for too long.
8. Be mindful of your actions and your words.
9. Sometimes we hurt people intentionally (plain mean), accidentally (it happens) or unconsciouslly (insensitive).
10. We never know the whole story which is why we should always try to stop the urge to judge. But then again, trying not to judge does not mean that others would do so as well.
11a. Change for the better or dont change at all.
11b. There is always room for learning - life is a journey of endless possibilities and overflowing potential.
That list above is just a bunch of crap that i typed - trying to make a sense of all the things that I experienced. It would be normal if you disagree with one or maybe all of the statements but then again, there's a reason why it's MY list.
Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung ano na ang nangyayari sa akin. Nababaliw lang ba talaga ako? Nagmumudal? Nagpapapansin? Whatever you may call it, i just feel that I have so many questions that have to be answered. I guess it is part of growing up. Maybe. Pero i just feel that there is something that I have to know - something that I have to experience. I just feel that I am running out of time. I know it might be scary to think about it pero as mortal beings, we never know when our time will end. *change topic*
A friend of mine wrote in his blog that he tries to live his college life the same way he would live his life. Although I have no problem with that, I just feel that I have more to do, more places to see, more things to experience which is why I feel that I will never be contented. Makes sense? Parang mali yata ang pagkasabi ko pero i can't seem to translate my thoughts into coherent words. Ewan, its just that I want my life to be dynamic once i get outside of college and I can't live a dynamic life in the almost mechanical college atmosphere. To each his own nga di ba? Tama. To each his own.
I know I have a lot of things ahead of me. I have to do a lot of things and I am prepared to do them. Feeling ko lang talaga ngaun ay nauubusan ako ng battery. In the past, I did a lot of things with a perfectionist zeal pero now i am starting to look for a reason on continuing it. Wala lang, why work hard for something that people hardly notice? Why continue to beat what you did the last time so that the standards of people would rise even higher? I dont blame them, its just at certain times, napapagod talaga ako. Why do i have to strive for excellence all the time, everytime? Kasi ganon ako? Wag naman sana. Sana may mas malalim na dahilan. Sana lang talaga.
Ang lupet nga talaga ng buhay. Haha. Malupet. Sino ba naman ang magaakalang ngaun pa ako magiisip ng mga ganito. It just so happens na i'm tired. Sa totoo lang, pagod na pagod na ako. Kung titignan, parang ang lalim lalim ng problema ko. Pero para sa akin, mababaw lang naman eh. Para naman sa akin, lahat mababaw eh - lahat may logical na solution. Sana nga lang, mahanap ko na siya.
O di ba? Napakadaling gumawa ng negative na post. Its amazingly simple and easy to complain about everything. There is still the other half of the year.
Whatever the rest of the year holds for me, Bring it ON.
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June 15, 2006
Consider me recharged.
Posted at 10:42 PM
Sabi ko na nga ba simple lang ang sagot sa mga kadramahan ng buhay ko eh. Haha Who would have thought di ba? Consider me refreshed and recharged.
Moving on, 2 days left for Regcom then after one day - classes begin. Haaaay, buhay nga naman, kung kelan parang ayaw ko nang pumasok dun pa biglang bumilis ang oras! Kainis. I bought my school supplies kanina! haha ewan.. isip siguro ng iba na parang that is sooo grade school. Baket ba! haha sa totoo lang, mura lang ang kaligayahan ko and simple things such as those really lift me up.. haha lalo na kanina at nahanap ko yung notebook na last sem ko pa hinahanap.
Masaya yung dinner kanina - ala restuarant siya wahaha. Actually, ang food sa bahay super sarap pero usually one by one. Diyos ko, aaraw-arawin mo bang mag 8 course meal kapag 4 lang kayo? wahaha pero kanina, it was special wahaha parang sunday dinner kahit hindi sunday.
Wala lang. Feel ko wala ring kwenta itong post na ito eh. I can't say what I feel pero i think I am happy - really happy. So. This is how it feels.
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June 19, 2006
Getting to know... me.
Posted at 04:01 PM
There are times in our lives that we feel na we know ourselves all too well. And there are times that we are amazed at how much we have yet to know. Minsan amazing. Minsan frustrating. I dont want to make this a long post kasi medyo limited lang ang time ko pero yesterday i got to know myself a little bit more.
Wala lang. Parang all this time kilalang-kilala ko na yung sarili ko and then things happen, situations arise and I act beyond what even I expect of myself. Joy. haha plain joy na may halong relief.
First day ng class ngayon and super saya ako sa sched ko. Parang ang convenient ng MWF classes ko. I had Ph 101 first. It turns out that my prof is a malaysian. Small world di ba? I have a few friends from Regcom kaya di ako mashadong natakot na mag-isa. Classmate ko rin si Sam from high school so medyo masaya yung class. Next was Hi 165. Dito talaga ako natakot kasi nandun na yung teacher tapos wala pa akong familiar face. Tapos biglang grand entrance si Jo (friend ko from regcom). Haha super parehas nung sched namin so feel ko talaga magiging close kami wahahaha! Then came Eco 112. I actually had fun kasi super H1(block ko)-dominated ng class. Ewan. Naaliw ako sa teacher kasi parang feeling ko ganon ako maging teacher if ever maging teacher ako someday.
To expound on that... 20 percent ng grade namin sa eco ay tinatawag na discretionary grade. Parang valid excuse ni sir yun para mamanipulate yung grades - ika nga niya "to have some hold over the students."
Yun na lang muna. Feel ko malapit na matapos ang pagdownload ko ng music. Now, I actually have the time to update my MP3 collection. Thank god. Feeling ko talaga super minsan na lang ako magkakaroon ng free time na ganito kaya sulitin dapat!
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June 20, 2006
Just like Kindergarten
Posted at 09:57 PM
"do you remember in kindergarten,how you'd meet a kid, and know nothing about them, then 10 seconds later you'd be playing like you were best friends, because you didn't have to be anyone but yourself?"
It kinda puts a lot of things in perspective doesn't it? We all long to grow up so fast so much so that we forget and take for granted how simple and free the "good ol' days were/are" If only people try to become more of themselves than someone they want to be seen as.
Moving on, tomorrow would mark the start of formal lectures and pakshet... i am already feeling the stress. I am not sure how I am going to survive this sem. Good luck to me talaga! The last time i handled 20 units was way back in 1st year 2nd semester and i remember not being able to handle it well. hahaha Things change, horizons are constantly being extended.. kaya yan!
Nothing much happened kanina. Nagdiscuss lang ng konti yung mga teachers tapos after that nagdismiss din sila pero never early - laging stretched to the limit ang kanilang time. One thing to note nga lang is my theo teacher's 22-page syllabus and his future lugawan sessions! wahahaha Feeling ko Theo 131 will be bittersweet. Wala lang, sana talaga kayanin ko yung load ko ngaun!
That's all for now. =)
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June 24, 2006
Prevention is BETTER than cure.
Posted at 06:35 PM
I was in school kanina even though it was a Saturday to (1) attend the make-up class for Theology & (2) attend a make up class for Marketing. Wala lang, parang the two are just sooo polar opposites - not the subject, but the teacher actually. To be honest, I have a feeling that these two are going to be the ones responsible for making this semester hell. Mark my words... haha
Today, I had to do something ummm... cruel (for the lack of a better term). Pero, i didn't/don't feel guilty about it - some shame pero no guilt (if ever there is a difference). The way I see it is that I should not have made that decision simply because I should not have encountered it in the first place. Hindi ko kasalanan na ganon ang nangyari dahil hindi naman ako ang nagpa-asa sa kanya. Matagal na kasing pinaguusapan kung sinu-sino ang magkakasama tapos biglang may taong nagimbita na lang bigla ng iba pang tao. I dont blame him - its just that he should have been man enough to admit his fault and moreso, fix it. Kasi, I think all the blame points to me - and that is just plain unfair.
I may be blunt. I may be tactless. But one thing that I honestly do not want to do is hurt other people intentionally. Believe me, after all that I, myself have gone through, that is the least that I want to do to other people. Hindi ko naman sinasadya yung nangyari.
Madaming reasons eh. Sa isang banda, its just plain preference - choosing the people I WANT to work with rather than people i NEED to work with (kasi kung NEED to work with, eh di dapat nagcount-off na lang for groupings di ba?). Sa isang banda naman, I just want to prevent future arguments/faceoffs/misunderstandings. Lets just say na mas kilala ko siya. Ang point lang naman dito ay if ever sa umpisa pa lang ay medyo malabo na, paano pa kaya pag high level stress na? Eh sa mga ganyang pagkakataon, i get carried away.And although we may be OK, that does not mean that we would be able to work with each other well.Kasi you may be friends but some friends really are not meant to work together di ba?
I guess yun lang naman talaga ang point ko. I think I have had my share of fights - so much so that I have earned the right to try to evade them as much as possible - lalo na at hindi lang relationships ang at stake dito. Prevention IS better than cure.
Ewan. Bakit pa kasi pina-asa in the first place di ba? Ayan tuloy, nagexpect siya. Ngayon, napasama pa tuloy siya. To a certain extent, may kasalanan ako. But I wont be foolish enough to accept responsibility for the whole thing.
Aaaanyway, start na ang pagbabasa ng mga readings! sh*t!!! haha I just got my theology readings and its like soooo thick! haha and to think that I used to complain about my lit readings during first year... i would rather have those... hahaha
Yun na lang muna.
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June 27, 2006
Oracle?
Posted at 10:43 PM
I am starting to feel stressed. Hindi pa naman ganon karami ang ginagawa for acads pero I feel na there is something big that is looming. Ewan. Parang may darating. Parang may parating na babagabag sa aking isip. I actually hate writing abstract things - if ever you see abstract things in this blog, its because they refer to personal information - but now, I cant help but be abstract because I have no idea what this BIG thing is.
Ewan. Meron lang talaga akong nafefeel na mangyayari, nangyari na, or nangyayari. I ain't no Oracle but sometimes I get vibes... wahaha natawa ako sa term a "vibes". To be honest, if ever what I think is what is going to happen/happened/happening.. wag naman sana. It would be such a blow to me, ngayon at medyo OK na ako.
I tried thinking about what-ifs kanina and I did not like the scenario - sobrang awkward niya talaga. 2 lang naman ang possible scenarios eh - its either i am so close to figuring it out, or I am really, really and I mean REALLY clueless.
Hay nako. Ahnkohlang.
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June 30, 2006
Awat na.
Posted at 09:04 PM
Today, I think i have resolved two of my minor problems which have been magnified by the fact that I seem to have more free time these days. The first problem, parang nasolve na lang siya bigla. Yung second naman, may isang taong sobrang nagmagnify ng issue. Ewankohlangha. Hay. Some people really have it in for you. *paranoid mode* wahaha
Aaanyway. Two of my friends are sick. I really can't do anything about that pero it makes me wonder why this has happened. Could it be just meningjitis or an inflammation Hmmm wahaha Nasosobrahan lang siguro ako sa panonood ng House. Feel ko after a week or so, ako na naman ang magkakasakit. That is usually what happens. Wahahay buhay nga naman talaga o.
There is something weird happening to my friendster account. Haha I have no idea why this is happening now.
Actually, when I started typing this entry, i had this mental list as to what I want to write/rant about pero now that I am actually typing.. parang nawala siya lahat or tinatamad akong alalahanin siya. Now, this is just turning into a crappy post.
Nga pala, i lost my USB Flash Drive a week ago. Sayang kasi may sentimental value & important files yun. Pumayag na si madre at padre na bumili ako ng bago wahaha its really time to update my mp3s
Awat na nga.
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